The Final Destination (2009): A Recital of Old Mistakes

One of the downsides of a cult following is their tendency to defend even the worst elements of the franchise that commands their affections. Very often, this creates something of a feedback loop, allowing undesirable flaws in a movie to persist and be loudly repeated in sequels. Having seen four of these things by now and taken even a cursory glance at many of the forums dedicated to the IP, I might even consider Final Destination and its fanbase the trendsetter for this rule. I firmly believe that these theater-going aficionados of death set their sights far too low, creating something of an artificial ceiling to the quality of their favorite franchise and causing its signature mistakes to be repeated again and again. This isn't about fresh opportunities to improve anymore so much as it is willful self-limitation. Final Destination 4, ominously but unimaginatively titled The Final Destination, does nothing new. It makes the same mistakes, parrots the same cliches, and exists as nothing more than yet another shallow circus of freak accidents devoid of any sense of self-awareness. This is beyond getting old by now. This is getting ridiculous.

The Final Destination series is, at heart, a gimmick franchise, and while I understand its business model - which hopefully isn't a difficult thing to do after three virtually identical sequels - it didn't work then because of poor execution, and it works even less now that the novelty has worn off. Final Destination 4 is devoid of virtually any sense of creativity, and between that, a near-paint splatter of unattractively amateur computer graphics, and a lineup of entirely forgettable characters, it struggled to hold my attention, too. If you've seen one of these movies, you've seen them all, and if you've met one character in this series, you've met every last unremarkable one. It's a problem that has plagued every installment and, to an extent, just about every dead teenager movie, but it's becoming increasingly noticeable the longer this series drags on. In the same breath, the characterization of Final Destination 4 is a participation grade and a rack of ammunition for almost comically far-fetched death scenarios; while I'm not the kind to knock a movie's grasp of logic or lack thereof, this one occasionally borders on self-parody.

Still, I like how it references the now-infamous events of the other movies in this series. Even if it doesn't gather a head of steam towards explaining them, Final Destination 4 accepts that these anomalous, interconnected deaths are a part of the world, introducing a level of consistency missing from previous installments. Nevertheless, the characters remain so shallow they're virtual caricatures. Rules in movies are only impressive if the characters playing by them resemble people. Final Destination 4 is a movie less about the characters that die and more about the bizarre ways in which they die. While I understand that it's not trying to be deep, a level of depth or self-awareness would have done a lot for this movie, and made any part of it other than the handful of wildly outlandish death scenes actually relevant. This movie, like any of the others before it, could have been compelling, but apart from one well-staged suspense sequence, it settles for too little.

On some level, I understand having a fanbase to cater to, but I'd argue that in no way does this force a movie to be shallow, poorly written, and unoriginal. The quality of a movie lies not in the story it tells, but rather in how well it tells it. The Final Destination repeats the few good things there are to say about this series enough to make them tiresome, but apparently doesn't realize that repeating the tiresome things about a franchise doesn't necessarily make them good. I realize that I've essentially reviewed the same movie four times now, and perhaps that's unfair of me, given how much I disliked the original. But The Final Destination does nothing new, nothing special, and even struggles to do anything concrete. I don't need everything in a movie explained to me, but going four movies without finding a good purpose for all of this carnage is, in a weird, twisted way, really, really impressive.

The Final Destination - 3/10

Revelation 3:15-16