Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom: Why Do I Bother?

I'll admit it, the first time I saw a trailer for this movie at a showing of I think The Last Jedi, I was intrigued to a certain level. A newly active volcano on the dinosaur-inhabited Isla Nublar is an intoxicating premise for a movie that's part of a canon as well-established as the Jurassic franchise, and a debate raging over whether or not they should be saved or left to die may have been some impressively refreshing territory if it were handled well. Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom even starts in some promising ways, with a massive sea-faring dinosaur called a Mosasaurus gobbling up a submarine full of ne'er-do-wells. What's not to like about massive dinosaurs giving crooks their due? Unfortunately, the symphony is a lot to write home about because it didn't give me many more good things to say than that. This movie starts off playing some undeniably strong notes, but it burbles into a bog of off-key misadventures and unsteady pacing before long.

To say that Fallen Kingdom is a disjointed mess might be unfairly kind to it. Reveals are not its strong suit, not by a long shot. Spoiler alert, but not everyone in this movie is as they seem. Unfortunately, you'll find that out sooner rather than later, before Fallen Kingdom even gives you time to care about its new cast of characters. Patience is a virtue, but it didn't get the memo. And while it's a movie with no shortage of the epic, computer-graphics-driven spectacle we've come to expect from Triple-A blockbusters, it's still a visual roller coaster that rolls into the station with a surprising and dishearteningly hollow clatter.

What's more, the new supporting cast of Fallen Kingdom is horribly irritating, existing less as a meaningful addition to the group and more as the all-too-familiar, misguided, and painfully grating statement of youth that's heavy on the message and light on the characterization. Think Sarah in Terminator Genisys, just to a lesser extent, even if that's not saying a lot. Owen and Claire are as likable a duo as always, but they aren't given great backup singers to work with, and I could never escape the feeling that, unlike the first Jurassic World, Fallen Kingdom will probably be relegated to the unenviable role of a product of its time.

One of my more fundamental issues with this movie has less to do with the actual movie and more with the marketing. For a story marketed to be about the eruption of a volcano on Isla Nublar, the island housing all of the dinosaurs for those of you unfamiliar with Jurassic lore, I wish it had focused more on the eruption of a volcano on Isla Nublar. I wouldn't exactly say that Fallen Kingdom treats this cataclysmic event like an afterthought, but it rarely gets recognized as the disaster it actually is. Because maybe our social-media-centric society is too impatient to appreciate the weight of something like this. Oh bother, might as well move on to dinosaurs eating rich people who were trying to auction them before the TikTok types get too bored. I don't know how much you'll be able care about this disaster when the movie doesn't seem to care enough.

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom suffers from finding a good idea for a captivating blockbuster and having no clue what to do with it. So, it populates this idea with an imprecise story, a noisy and irritating batch of new characters, and a sprawling ambition that far outruns a promising premise. Fallen Kingdom has no shortage of dinosaur-related fatalities peppering its runtime, and while I can't say I was bored by the Cretaceous-borne carnage on display, my more critical side was left unimpressed by this movie, one that doesn't in any way dissuade the notion that Hollywood has an unhealthy obsession with sequels.

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom - 4/10

Psalm 104:31-32