Cleaner: A Mediocre Die Hard Clone

Just about the only thing missing from Cleaner is a big sign on the side of London's One Canada Square skyscraper that says Welcome to the party, pal! Ecoterrorists with a bone to pick have taken high-ranking officials of an energy company hostage, and the only person who can stop them is Joey, a window cleaner with a military past, and her autistic and Piers-Morgan-obsessed brother Michael. It's a familiar-enough scenario that makes for either wonderful news headlines or a slow afternoon at the theater, depending on what gets your blood pumping. Usually, I would tell you to leave your preconceived notions about a movie at the doorstep, but I won't lie to you: Cleaner is an entirely predictable piece because it predicates its entire existence on movies that came before it, so it won't hurt to bring your expectations in with you to this one, cliches and all.

Cleaner is, by design, a frenetic movie. I was stressed out at multiple points watching it. This might surprise you, but this wasn't because of any shooting that takes place in action sequences that are fairly by-the-book stuff. Every day occurrences like missing the bus are uniquely fraught because of how Cleaner chooses to portray them, and if nothing else, I can finally say I've seen a movie where missing a job interview holds more weight than being shot at. Cleaner even shows a couple of signs of intelligence and skill in the area of its whip-smart dialogue. There seems to be some unspoken rule in cinema that British people are bitingly, subtly rude to everyone around them, and the dialogue of Cleaner is a lot of fun to listen to because it plays into this trope without any qualms about doing so whatsoever.

As you've probably gathered by now, Cleaner is a Die Hard clone. Truth be told, that's one of the reasons I watched it. Die Hard is one of my favorite action movies, and part of the reason for this is that the Nakatomi Plaza skyscraper was such a well-handled setting, one that was milked for seemingly never-ending and hopelessly full-metal possibilities. Unfortunately, I can't say the same about the skyscraper featuring in Cleaner. This movie lives in the shadow of Die Hard, never distancing itself enough from the movies that inspired it to find an identity worth calling its own. What's more, Joey isn't a very compelling character. She's a paper-thin protagonist put on life support by a ho-hum performance from Daisy Ridley, and in no way is it a realistic ask for her to support this movie, which she can't. Joey's knack for climbing, which she used as a young girl to climb out of her apartment when her parents were fighting, plays with some interesting ideas. Still, by-the-book and insufficient characterization render Cleaner soulless, and too few scenes with too little sentiment don't do enough to help, even if Joey's relationship with Michael and her affinity for climbing are early yet fleeting flashes of hope.

All in all, Cleaner is another Die Hard clone for the books. And while it's not an entirely dismissible copycat, it lacks a soul to call its own, as while its action sequences are par with other movies in its genre and its dialogue cuttingly witty, Daisy Ridley's Joey can't carry this movie on her all-too-thinly written shoulders. Even her potentially interesting team-up with an autistic brother can't save Cleaner from mediocrity. Director Martin Campbell's filmography is hit-and-miss, from the excellent Casino Royale to the letdown that was Dirty Angels. But if he keeps making movies like Cleaner, let's be nice and say he might be better off wiping windows for a living instead.

Cleaner - 5/10

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